Sleeping together has long been considered the norm in romantic relationships. However, as people stay together longer, many begin to seek the autonomy that they once had in moments that are private, such as during sleep.

‘Sleep divorce’ is when a couple starts to sleep on separate beds even as they are happily in love with each other. A man shared his experience with the subject on the popular subreddit r/NoStupidQuestions, and to his surprise, found many netizens with similar stories to share.

Why did the man and his wife start sleeping apart?

The man began his rant on Reddit by asking in the title if there was anyone who had experienced ‘sleep divorce’ as he did.

It had been five years since he first shifted to the guest bedroom at night because his wife was keeping him up. It was when he discovered that they both slept much better in this manner.

“I flip and flop all night. I like to stay up and read with a lamp on, and I like having a loud white noise machine with multiple fans going,” the man explained. “She doesn’t like any of those things.”

“If one of us has to get up to go to work, we don’t wake the other. If one of us has to use the restroom, we don’t wake the other. Allegedly, I occasionally snore. I also love to spread out on my own king-sized bed and sleep with the door closed and locked, whereas we would have to keep ‘our’ bedroom door open for the cats.”

Since they had started sleeping apart, the man shared that they both slept better and woke up well-rested and in better moods.

Redditors share similar stories

Netizens appreciated the man’s approach and opened up about their own stories in the thread.

“I love this way of phrasing it! Speaking for myself, I snore badly, so my wife and I have been sleeping much better since using separate rooms on most nights,” was the candid response of a netizen.

“I thought that was going to be a lot sadder when I read the title! As far as I’m concerned, you and your wife have lord and lady sleeping suites!” praised another.

One person elaborated on their experience, writing, “We started 3 years ago, and we love it (probably me more than my husband). I toss and turn and, evidently, snore sometimes. I also have tinnitus and sometimes want a podcast or BBC streaming from my cellphone, but not with headphones (I did not do this when he shared the bed).”

“I also work FT, and he’s partially retired /wfh so he brings me coffee in the morning, sets out my lunch, and goes back to bed,” they continued. When our adult kids are visiting (like this next week), he’ll move back in, and we deal, but largely, he’s in my son’s room’s bed unless it’s spicy time.”

Sleeping apart has been trending among millennials

Millennials have taken to ‘sleep divorce’ as a method that is beneficial to their relationship, according to a December 2024 report by the National Post.

The Hilton 2025 Trends report that came out last year also mentioned that more couples are opting for separate beds to prioritise rest and personal space while on vacation.

The phenomenon can be explained with the help of a study published in the 2016 issue of Chronobiology International.

It states that sleeping in pairs had its evolutionary advantages, such as a sense of security, and bed sharing can be an expression of intimacy. However, sleeping together does not always benefit ‘couple functioning.’

One partner’s snoring, twitching, restless legs, apnea, body heat or other nocturnal disruptions can be problematic for the other.

A public education brief by the Sleep Research Society bears the following statement: “Research indicates that up to 30% of an individual’s sleep quality (or lack thereof) is influenced by their partner’s sleep.”

Thus, sleeping apart, when needed, can only be considered a healthy move.